Assalamualaikum
22 Dis 2014 ; tarikh keramat for pt3 candidates as well as for me too. ngehngeh
perasaan aku ? hurmm, biasa-ii je macam hari-ii biasa. agaknya sebab aku dah menjangkakannya. apa yang aku jangka betul. cuma aku terlupa pasal bi&bm punya lisan+mendengar. so total gred di situ ada 10 bukan 8 ye. macam yang aku cakap dengan semua orang; secara teknikalnya aku dapat 7A. jangan ditanya 3 gred yang lain. hancus. selama 9 tahun aku bersekolah ni kali pertama dapat gred sebegitu (dlm exam penting). lol. aku fikir sebab kteorang 1st batch mungkin ada kelonggaran. tapi hampeh. makin naik gred ada la. sebenarnya berapa orang yang straight A pt3 2014 ? curious. ahhaha.
satu-ii nya sebab aku menulis malam ni adalah wifi agak slow. hahah. kalau tak sebenarnya aku nak tengok fairy tail. sebelum tu aku nak tengok pinocchio kat dramafire tapi website nya not avaiable pulak. pfft ._. ada je hal-ii yang menghalang malam ni.
Ohayo~
remember i told that psychometric exam on 20th ? well, that exam was postponed because oral test for english was on that day. actually i don't scared or nervous at all. ok, maybe a little. I was in qurantine room while others, one by one went for the oral. I just practiced reading the text on textbook and had a nap for a while lol. it was bored in that room while waiting my turn since i was the last person for that day.
i got the 'reading' theme. it was not hard as i imagined. it's all simple questions. but you know, when i entered the room my nervousness came and my heart won't stop pounding so fast. even after they gave a moment for me to think about the theme, i just trying to make myself calm, but failed. because of my heart was pounding so hard, i can't think properly before i speak. it was supposed to be a simple question and a simple answer. but i gave umm.. the right answer but there were grammar mistakes. hahaha.. it's already happened and let it go.
after the test ended, i was ready to walk out. but a teacher (there were two teachers) asked me where my parents' from? i was like... huh? please don't tell me this is a part of the test. but only said that inside me. i answered (simply and a few grammar mistakes) her questions. she thought i am kelatanese because she said my face is clean and fair. grrr she lied. hahah.. my face is not very that clean. but maybe she saw me from a distance so she didn't see clearly.
after i was out from that room, the nervousness disappeared and my heart pounding normally. i thought there is something wrong with me aigooo.. i still feel regret that i couldn't give my best, give a splendid answers especially in that conversation. i need to learn more, practice more. fighting to me!
remember i told that psychometric exam on 20th ? well, that exam was postponed because oral test for english was on that day. actually i don't scared or nervous at all. ok, maybe a little. I was in qurantine room while others, one by one went for the oral. I just practiced reading the text on textbook and had a nap for a while lol. it was bored in that room while waiting my turn since i was the last person for that day.
i got the 'reading' theme. it was not hard as i imagined. it's all simple questions. but you know, when i entered the room my nervousness came and my heart won't stop pounding so fast. even after they gave a moment for me to think about the theme, i just trying to make myself calm, but failed. because of my heart was pounding so hard, i can't think properly before i speak. it was supposed to be a simple question and a simple answer. but i gave umm.. the right answer but there were grammar mistakes. hahaha.. it's already happened and let it go.
after the test ended, i was ready to walk out. but a teacher (there were two teachers) asked me where my parents' from? i was like... huh? please don't tell me this is a part of the test. but only said that inside me. i answered (simply and a few grammar mistakes) her questions. she thought i am kelatanese because she said my face is clean and fair. grrr she lied. hahah.. my face is not very that clean. but maybe she saw me from a distance so she didn't see clearly.
after i was out from that room, the nervousness disappeared and my heart pounding normally. i thought there is something wrong with me aigooo.. i still feel regret that i couldn't give my best, give a splendid answers especially in that conversation. i need to learn more, practice more. fighting to me!
idk if this gif related or not.
i felt sad, aggrieved, disappointed and a little mad to them. i want to act there was nothing wrong happened, i want to act like 'that' do not infected me at all. i want to husnuzon. i want to keep those feelings inside and let it be forgotten as the time passed. and there is my mom said something that bother me. i know she right because i felt the same. but how could i want to say my real feeling to 'them' ? i don't have that courage. maybe because i want to look nice to them; never complain, never touched, never show my anger. am i too kind or idiot or naive to always husnuzon ?
p/s: today is hari berkabung, let us pray for mh17 passengers. and don't forget to always send our doa to gaza.
